Why did God give men penises?
So we’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
How is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman that won’t do what she’s told.
Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
What are the small bumps around a woman’s’ nipples for?
Its Braille for “suck here”.
Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t?
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit-bull?