Rude one liners

When do you kick a midget in the balls?
When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
How does a woman scare a gynaecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist!

What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
a $100 bill!
Whats long and hard and has cum in it?
a cucumber
How do you kill a circus clown?
Go for the juggler!
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
Who was the worlds first carpenter?
Eve, because she made Adams banana stand
Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
Because his wife died!
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
a rip off
Why did the snowman smile?
Because the snowblower is coming.


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