Adult One liners

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
So men can be open minded.
What’s the biggest fish in the world?
A hore, if you catch one you can eat her for months.
How can you tell if your girlfriend wants you?
When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you’re feeding a horse.

Have you heard about the new ‘Mint flavoured birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?
They’re called ‘Predickamints’
What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.
What’s the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
One goes “ribbit” the other goes “rub it”.’
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
What’s the difference between Mad Cow disease and PMS?
How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it’s from.
Why does the bride always wear white?
Well aren’t all kitchen appliances that colour?


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