Adult One liners

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.
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Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
So men can be open minded.
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What’s the biggest fish in the world?
A hore, if you catch one you can eat her for months.
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How can you tell if your girlfriend wants you?
When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you’re feeding a horse.

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Have you heard about the new ‘Mint flavoured birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?
They’re called ‘Predickamints’
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What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.
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What’s the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
One goes “ribbit” the other goes “rub it”.’
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Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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What’s the difference between Mad Cow disease and PMS?
Nothing.
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How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it’s from.
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Why does the bride always wear white?
Well aren’t all kitchen appliances that colour?

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