Adult one liners

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynaecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynaecologist looks up your family bush.
What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

What’s black, white, and red all over and doesn’t fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
Why are pubic Hairs so curly?
So they don’t poke her eye out.
What do you call a gay drive by?
a fruit roll up.
What’s the difference between a band-leader and a gynaecologist?
A band-leader fucks his singers and a gynaecologist sucks his fingers.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it, we’re closed.
Did you hear about the paparazzo who was found eating unborn children?
He was found in the abortion clinic bins looking for the inside scoop.
Why do men like big tits and a tight ass?
Because they’ve got big mouths and little dicks.
Whats long hard and full of seamen?
A submarine
Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff?
A Crane!
What do you get if you cross a gay midget with a vampire?
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.


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