Adult one liners

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynaecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynaecologist looks up your family bush.
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What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

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What’s black, white, and red all over and doesn’t fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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Why are pubic Hairs so curly?
So they don’t poke her eye out.
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What do you call a gay drive by?
a fruit roll up.
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What’s the difference between a band-leader and a gynaecologist?
A band-leader fucks his singers and a gynaecologist sucks his fingers.
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What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
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What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it, we’re closed.
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Did you hear about the paparazzo who was found eating unborn children?
He was found in the abortion clinic bins looking for the inside scoop.
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Why do men like big tits and a tight ass?
Because they’ve got big mouths and little dicks.
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Whats long hard and full of seamen?
A submarine
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Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff?
A Crane!
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What do you get if you cross a gay midget with a vampire?
Cocksucker!
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Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

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