Short Irish jokes.

Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him “Did you find the shampoo?”
Paddy says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

**********

Paddy found this lovely girt tied to the railway track ,so he frees her an takes her home and makes some mad passionate love all day and night.
So he starts to boast to his mate about this great find and his mates asks him “what does she look like Paddy”.
So Paddy replies “don’t know I haven’t found her head yet”

**********
Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy” he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”.
Paddy says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.

**********
Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the bloody thing up.

***********
Paddy shouts frantically into the phone “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No”, shouts Paddy, “this is her husband!”

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