Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.
Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
What’s the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One’s thick and hairy, and the other’s a coconut.
What do you call a scouser in a suit?