Liverpool jokes.

Scouser walks into the D.S.S. and says :-
“I’ve just been offered a Blow Job, If I take it will it affect my benefit claim?”

Define confusion
Fathers day in Liverpool

Or like the bloke visiting the docks who sees a docker writhing in pain on the floor.
He asks what’s wrong with him.
Another docker says “He wants to go the toilet”.
“So why doesn’t he go” asks the stranger.
“What? On his lunch break?” comes the reply.

Why are Liverpool supporters useless at making Pancakes?
Because they’re all useless tossers

Why did Gerard Houllier go to Argos?
It’s the only place he could pick up Premier Points.

Why can’t you circumcise a Scouser?
Because there is no end to those pricks.

Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
Because there’s nothing worth shitting on.

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Merseyside?
Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.


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