The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.
Poker rules supplement: A .44 Magnum beats 4 aces.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.