How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.
What does a gang-banger have in common with a soda machine?
They both don’t work and always take your money.
Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
How do they say “fuck you” in Los Angeles?
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me!
How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100?
Pull some strings.
Why can’t Jesus eat m&m’s?
Because he has holes in his hands.