Why does your wife have periods?
Because she deserve them.
What is loud and obnoxious?
How do you blind your wife?
Put a windshield in front of her.
Why is life like a penis?
Your wife makes it hard!
What book do wives like the most?
“Their husbands checkbook!”
Why didn’t the man report his stolen credit card?
The thief was spending less then his wife.
What have wives and condoms got in common?
If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet.
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job will still suck.
What do you call a wife that has lost 95% of her intelligence?
How is a wife like an airplane?
Both have cockpits.
What do you call a wife with an opinion?