Sex one liners

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Whats a condom and a coffin got in common?
They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!

When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex?
During sex cuz he’s plugged up to the knowledge source=:)

Sex is like a misdemeanor, the more I miss it, da meaner I get

Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
They can’t stand to see a man have a good time!

Sex is like math.
Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don’t Multiply!

How do you know if you have a high sperm count ?
If she has to chew before she can swallow.

Two potatoes are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?
The one that says IDAHO!

What did the penis say to the condom?
Cover me im going in!

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, “I slept with a Brazilian….”
The blonde replies, “Oh my God! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?”

How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died!


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