Sex oneliners

Three words to ruin a man’s ego…?
“Is it in?”

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the back!

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me!

Girl: “Hey, what’s up?”
Boy: “If I tell you, will you sit on it?”

What’s the difference between you and eggs?
Eggs get laid and you don’t

What do you call mobile porn?
Flash Drive

Why are pubic hairs so curly?
So they don’t poke out your eyes.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”

How can you tell which is the head nurse?
She’s the one with the dirty knees.

Have you noticed that more and more women are having their navel’s pierced?
That’s because its a handy place to hang the air freshener.

How do you make your girlfriend cry while having sex?…Phone her!

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 percent….
Wedding cake.


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