Sex, one liners

What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother!

Whats worse than getting fingered by Captain Hook?
Getting raped by jack the ripper.

What’s a porn star’s favorite drink?
7 Up in cider.

Boy: “Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long.”
Girl: “Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won’t get it.”

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

How do you properly fuck a fat woman?
Role her around in flower and find the wet spot!

Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job?
( “I don’t know what?” )
You don’t know? soooo…you wanna do lunch tomorrow?

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?
The man.


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