Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. Sex-ed is so advanced now, they also give homework!
I heard my daughter tell her friend she ate her boyfriend’s cock last night. Last time I checked she didn’t like chicken for dinner!
My son and his friends are great. They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home!
My husband is so thoughtful…I overheard him say he gave his secretary a cream pie.
My son’s black friends always ask me if I can “make it clap”…of course I can? All I need is two hands.
My daughter’s boyfriend always checks her for breast cancer…How considerate.
My son’s black friends must be bad at basketball…They keep talking about how they want to double team me.
My son used a whole box of tissues last week … He must be really sick.
I put the oregano in my sons room all over my spaghetti and now everything has been so funny for me.
My son’s friend said he wanted to get “stoned”…What a horrible way to die. Why would he say that?
My son sent a text to his girlfriend saying “Im gonna tear that pussy up”. He’s grounded! Animal abuse is NOT tolerated in this household!