Blonde mother jokes.

I heard my son’s girlfriend screaming “Oh God!” in his bedroom upstairs … I’m so glad he found a good religious girl.

My son’s friends always talk about how they’d love to run a train with me. I’m not sure why they think I know anything about locomotives.

My daughter sent a text to her boyfriend saying that she wants a big cock for her birthday… Why would she want a pet rooster?

My son wants to be a pilot he’s always talking about getting high.

I always hear my son on the phone saying “Can I hit that?”. I really have to sit down with him and talk about domestic violence.

My daughter’s Spanish tutor really wants her to pass his class…She’s been in her room with him shouting “Me Gusta!” all afternoon.

My daughter taught me that new dance called “twerking”. My son’s black friends love when I do it for them.

My daughters boyfriend still doesn’t know how to tie his shoes…Every time I walk in her room that’s all she’s doing.

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