What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What’s a mixed feeling?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
What’s the height of conceit?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
What’s the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your vasectomy.
What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
They spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick!
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it’s worth it!
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.