A man goes to church and tells the priest “Father, I almost cheated on my wife.”
The priest asks him “How do you almost cheat on your wife?”
The man says “Well, me and the woman were naked but we just rubbed against each other.”
The priest looks at him disgusted and says “Rubbing is the same as putting it in.
Never do it again, say five Hail Mary’s and put $100 in the donation pan.”
The next time the priest sees the man he is infuriates “You didn’t put $100 in the pan!”
The man looks at the priest disgusted and says “I rubbed the money against the pan, and rubbing is the same as putting it in.”