Sex one liners

A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation.
“Can you do anything to help me, Doc?” said the man.
“No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span” replied the doctor.

Q: What is the difference between women and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for two weeks after you put a load into it

Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? you choose.

What did the left nut say to the right nut?
Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick.

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

What do blondes say after sex?
“Thanks, guys!”.

What do you get when you cross a potato with corn?

How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.

Why don’t they teach Driver’s Ed and sex education on the same day in the Middle East?
They don’t want to wear out the camel.

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