Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I’ve found that a bacon
sandwich works better !
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely
fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a
woman with her mouth shut.
I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days, when you could look at an unattended bag
on a train or a bus, and think to yourself, “I’m gonna take that!”
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland .
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him,
“Where am I ?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, “You can’t fool me.
You’re in that basket up there.”
I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question,
—-which I got wrong.
The question was, “Where do women have the curliest hair ?”
Apparently the correct answer was Fiji ..
A woman has a medical at the doctors…
“You are grossly overweight,” he says.
“I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims.
“OK. You’re bloody ugly as well.”
That should more or less offend everyone — job done!!!!!!