Short Jewish jokes

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?”
The man says, “I make a good living.”
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I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!

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Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea .
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My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
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The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.”
Mrs. Cohen replied, “So did my arthritis!”
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