Short Irish vet jokes

Bill took his dog to the vet.
“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Bill, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
Bill replied, “Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want
anything to make her think she is welcome.”

Reports are coming in about a Crane collapse in New York.
It’s being covered live by CNN and Fox.
What’s the big fucking deal?
Don’t they have vets in America?

I was taking my dog out the other day when I met this bloke who asked me where I was going.
The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was on my way to the vet to have him put down.
He asked me, “is he mad?”
To which I replied, “well, he’s not exactly pleased about it.”

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