One of the benefactors of the local lunatic asylum is walking around the wards when he sees a man sitting bolt upright in bed pretending to drive and making car noises.
“How are you?” asks the visitor.
“Knackered,” replies the patient. “I’ve had to drive all the way to Scotland to deliver a load of steel.”
In the next bed, the patient is frantically moving up and down underneath the covers.
“Everything all right?” he asks, pulling back the bedclothes to reveal a naked man lying face downwards.
“You bet,” grins the man.
“I’m shagging his wife while he’s in Scotland.”