How is a casino like a woman?
Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
“Olive or twist?”
What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
“Please, no stories!”
Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
So the Irish would never rule the world!
What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
The Holy Spirit!
You know what’s fun about being sober?
What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
“A beer please, and one for the road.”