Southern Divorce

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

“About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “what are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband’s parents.”

The judge took a deep breath and asked, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don’t have a car.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music – all that hip hop and rap tap – but we can’t seem to do anything about it.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee.”

The judge asked, “Is your husband a nagger?”

“Oh, heck no, he’s as white as you and me!”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why in heck do you want a divorce?

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied.

“I’ve never wanted a divorce, my husband does.

The fool says he can’t communicate with me.”

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