May I hide under your skirt

A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked,

“Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”
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Sergeant Jones, joke

Sergeant Jones was doing a drill one morning when a letter was given to him.

Sergeant stood up and shouted, “PRIVATE WILLIAMS STAND UP!…..YOUR MOTHER HAS DIED!”

Private Williams immediately bawled into tears and fainted.

Sergeant Smith told Sergeant Jones, “You should have broken the news to him nicer….he wouldn’t have been so upset.”

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GI insurance, Joke.

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction centre where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch.
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Change your course now

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
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Your father is dead.

Sergeant Jones was doing a drill one morning when a letter was given to him.

Sergeant stood up and shouted, “PRIVATE WILLIAMS STAND UP!…..YOUR MOTHER HAS DIED!”

Private Williams immediately bawled into tears and fainted.

Sergeant Smith told Sergeant Jones, “You should have broken the news to him nicer….he wouldn’t have been so upset.”

Two months had passed, Sergeant Jones was running another drill and he received another letter which stated that Private Williams’ father had died, and then he thought for a minute and then shouted.

“EVERYONE WHOSE FATHER IS ALIVE, TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD” and so they did, and then Sergeant Jones shouted.

“PRIVATE WILLIAMS… WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”