A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?”
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Alan had two of the best tickets for the Rugby World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
“No”, he says, “the seat is empty.”
“This is incredible!” said the man, “who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Rugby Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the rugby world, and not use it?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles.
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NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER”
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
Randier than a sailor who’s been six months at sea,
Never let a cricketer’s hand an inch above your knee.
First let’s take the paceman, pure speed from first to last,
My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck.
A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy!
“Forty Niners’ fan saves friend from vicious animal,” he starts writing in his notebook.
“But I’m not a Niners fan,” the boy replied.
Joe was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Joe decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn’t happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all
done for him:
“I am placed in the door and told when to jump”
“My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go”
“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent
“On what grounds ?” questioned the Judge, “This
court does not take annulments lightly.”