A broke dirty Cowboy walks into a bar and says, “Gimme whiskey.”
The bartender says, “I’ll have to see your money first.”
“I’m broke, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I’ll get up on that stage and fart Dixie!”
The bartender had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees. Continue reading →
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Continue reading →
There was a Mexican, a American and a Japanese pilot.
They were taking turns flying over each of their countries so they were flying over Japan and the Japanese guy drops an apple on his country and the other two ask why he did that and he said “Because I love my country!”
So they went on to Mexico and the Mexican drops an orange on his country so the other two asked why he did that and he said “Because I love my country” Continue reading →
Doctor: “What seems to be the problem today?”
Patient: “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,”
The Doctor nods, “Hmm.”
Patient: “My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time.
Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times.”
“Hmm,” says the Doctor, as he picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled “Thank you Doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?”
“No,” sighs the Doctor, “The prescription is to clear your sinuses, it stinks like a fermented diaper in here. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.”