FISHING

There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank.
He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.
When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.
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Ice hole: blonde joke.

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing.

Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish.
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A woman is in bed

A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband’s best friend.
They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings.

Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.
Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation …
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we’re going fishing this weekend

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.”

The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!”

“Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.”

“Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!”

“Right I’ll give you three choices…
1 You come fishing with me and the dog…
2 You give me a BLOW JOB….
3 or you take it up the ass!”
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Do you have a license to fish

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”

“Naw, ma fren, I ain’t got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?”

Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim ’round for a while.

Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home.”
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Damn fish.

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
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72 year old fisherman

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.”

He looked around and couldn’t see any one.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.”

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog said, “Yes, I’m talking to you.

Pick me up, then kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
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Fishing trip.

A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss.

Could you pack up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?”

“Sure, honey,” his wife answers.

“Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?”

“Sure, honey,” his wife answers again.

The man comes home, picks up his things and takes off for the week.
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Two Irishmen went fishing.

Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.

Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ” how did you catch those ?

” Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river.

We got four salmon A great days fishing!

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Gone fishin, joke.

Three idiots are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.

A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps one of them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”

“We don’t have any,” replied the first idiot.

“Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.

“But officer,” replied the second idiot, “we aren’t fishing.
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