Mouldy penis

Jason walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal.

A man with no arms comes up to him and says “Hey, can you give me a hand?”.

Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help.

He unzips the man’s pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches in and takes out his penis, which he is horrified to discover is all green and mouldy.
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Perfect Penis: Little Johnny joke.

Little Johnny is playing in the woods with his little friend Jenny
when she turns to him and asks if he knows what a penis is.

Johnny, unable to answer tells her to wait while he runs home to
ask his dad. He bursts in through the front door to find his dad
laying on the sofa watching TV.

“Dad! dad, do you know what a penis is dad, do you ?” Johnny demands of
his father.
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The Blackboard

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word “penis” in tiny small letters.

She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face.

Finding none, she quickly erased it and began her class.

The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word “penis” again on the black board.
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Perfect Penis -Little Johnny

Little Johnny is playing in the woods with his little friend Jenny
when she turns to him and asks if he knows what a penis is.

Johnny, unable to answer tells her to wait while he runs home to
ask his dad. He bursts in through the front door to find his dad
laying on the sofa watching TV.

“Dad! dad, do you what a penis is dad, do you ?” Johnny demands of
his father.
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Tattoo on penis

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride’s name tattooed on his penis.

Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y.

Now they’re on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay.
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Nude beach

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach.

As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother’s, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, ‘The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.

‘The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
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University penis survey.

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft.
After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
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rearrange the letters PNEIS

Submitted by Eafpab

When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor
so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters
PNEIS into the name of an important human body part
which is most useful when erect.
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Dead penis, joke

An old man, Mr. Smith, resides in a nursing home.

One day he went to the nurses office and informed nurse Jones that his penis had died.

She realized that he was old and forgetful and decided to humour him, “It did? I’m sorry to hear that”, she replied.
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Dirty Old Man

An old couple that met in a nursing home and had been married for several years never had sex.

Instead they would sit and stare out the window and the old woman would hold the mans penis.

This would go on every day.
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A new penis

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.

Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway.

You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
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