Golf Joke: Nasty Left Hook

John’s not a great golfer – in fact, he stinks. But he’s always working on his game, trying to improve. One afternoon, after a typically crappy round of golf, John is interrupted by a police officer as he’s throwing his clubs in the car. “Did you tee off on the 17th hole about 20 minutes ago?”

“Why, yes I did officer.” John replied.

“Did you by any chance hook your ball over the trees to the left, out of bounds?” asked the officer.

“Yep, I believe I did.” John answered. “How’d you know?”
Continue reading

Bad golf shot

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.

“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!!”

I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Continue reading

young woman taking golf lessons

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.

The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?”
Continue reading

day at the golf course

John comes back quite late from a day at the golf course and his wife asks:

“What kind of time do you call this?”

“It was terrible dear,” John replies.

“I was playing a round with Harry and suddenly he collapsed and died at the third hole.”
Continue reading

hold your husband’s penis, joke

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.
The husband has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”
“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.
“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your wife’s breast.”
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds straight up the fairway.
The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can’t wait for her lesson.
Continue reading

Saturday golf

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.

The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
Continue reading

Golfer joke.

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.

He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

Continue reading