Jewish taxi driver

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City
and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? – Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”
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Fortune teller

Adolf Hitler went to see a fortune teller.

Hitler asked “What day will i die on?”

The fortune teller answered that he will die on a Jewish holiday.
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Short Jewish jokes

Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I AM 60!” Doctor:
“See! What did I tell you?”
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A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?
The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”
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Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears. ” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”
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Making the Headlines, Joke.

The editor of a small Israeli newspaper, furious over several government bills that had recently been passed, printed a scathing editorial with an enormous headline:

“HALF OF THE MEMBERS OF THE KNESSET ARE CROOKS.”
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Holy lottery ticket

One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor said that he had 10 days to 2 weeks left to live.

Moishe said, ‘Dr. I’ve done good things all my life.

All I ever wanted was to win the lottery, just once!’

The doctor said, ‘Sorry Moishe, you’re gonna die.’
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The school teacher’s prize.

Angela was nearing 60 and was in her final year of teaching.

She was a devout Christian who missed teaching from the Bible.

Because she was worried at how little her class knew about religion.

Angela decided she was going to disregard the new regulations and teach some religion.

She told her class that she would run a contest.

She would give £50 to whoever could tell her who was the greatest man who ever lived.
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