A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out.
‘What’s the matter?’ she asked.
‘It’s my birthday!’ he hollered.
‘And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there’s to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .’ and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.
Josey wasn’t the best pupil at Sunday school.
She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.
“Who is the creator of the universe?
” Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up.
Josey jumped and yelled, “God almighty!”
The teacher congratulated her.
Posted in Religious jokes |
Tagged funny joke, funny jokes, funny kids joke, funny religious joke, funny religious jokes, humour, joke, jokes, kids joke, kids jokes, religious joke, religious jokes |
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Posted in Kid jokes, School jokes |
Tagged funny joke, funny jokes, funny kids joke, humour, joke, jokes, kids joke, kids jokes, school joke, school jokes |
A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?”
“Yes,” replies the little girl.
“Well,” says the policeman, “tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year,” and fines her $5.
Posted in Kid jokes, Police Jokes |
Tagged funny joke, funny jokes, funny kids joke, funny police joke, funny police jokes, humour, joke, jokes, kids joke, kids jokes, police joke, police jokes |
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
Posted in Kid jokes, Sex jokes |
Tagged funny joke, funny jokes, funny kids joke, funny sex joke, funny sex jokes, humour, joke, jokes, kids joke, kids jokes, sex joke, sex jokes |
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
Posted in Animal jokes, Kid jokes |
Tagged animal joke, animal jokes, funny animal joke, funny animal jokes, funny joke, funny jokes, funny kids joke, humour, joke, jokes, kids joke, kids jokes |
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?”
The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”
The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she replied,
Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.
Doctor: “How did such a thing happen?”
Johnny: “It’s that damn neighbour girl, Susie.
Her braces are too darned sharp.”
Teacher says to wee Jimmy ,” Jimmy what kind of an animal would you like to be when you grow up “?
“An average Miss” replies Jimmy !
Dad, can I have some money?” asked my 13-year-old son today as he headed for the door.
I said, “It depends, where are you going?”
“To see a girl.” he replied,
“Oh yeah,” I winked, handing him some cash.
One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street;
and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop.
As he approached, he realized it was his neighbour’s kid – Little Johnny.
The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice:
Little Tommy is squirming around at his desk, scratching his crotch and paying little attention to the English lesson going on in the classroom.
When his teacher Mary goes over to find out what’s going on, Tommy is quite embarrassed.
He whispers to Mary that he’s recently been circumcised and he’s gotten very itchy.
Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious.
A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day.
She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom.