Birthday party

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out.

‘What’s the matter?’ she asked.

‘It’s my birthday!’ he hollered.

‘And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there’s to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .’ and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.
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Josey at Sunday school

Josey wasn’t the best pupil at Sunday school.
She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.
“Who is the creator of the universe?
” Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up.
Josey jumped and yelled, “God almighty!”
The teacher congratulated her.
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Did Santa get you that.

A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?”

“Yes,” replies the little girl.

“Well,” says the policeman, “tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year,” and fines her $5.
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difference between the sexes

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.

Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”

The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
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Stupid baby names

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mummy, why is my name Petal?”

The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”

The next baby walked up and asked, “Mummy why is my name Rose?” she replied,
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Sweet tooth

One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street;
and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop.

As he approached, he realized it was his neighbour’s kid – Little Johnny.

The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice:
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Little Tommy does what he’s told.

Little Tommy is squirming around at his desk, scratching his crotch and paying little attention to the English lesson going on in the classroom.

When his teacher Mary goes over to find out what’s going on, Tommy is quite embarrassed.

He whispers to Mary that he’s recently been circumcised and he’s gotten very itchy.
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