Wife And Husband Visit Doctor

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.

After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and told her.

“If you don’t do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die.”

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.

At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
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Doctor’s Request

The other day I went over to our nearby Pharmacy.

When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located and took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.

The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me?”

Being I’m a senior citizen … I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me and picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.

Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.
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little brown bottle

The other day I went over to our nearby Pharmacy.

When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located and took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.

The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.

I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me?”

Being I’m a senior citizen … I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me and picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.
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rearrange the letters PNEIS

Submitted by Eafpab

When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor
so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters
PNEIS into the name of an important human body part
which is most useful when erect.
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Bob went to the doctors

Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient.
“In over 20 years I haven’t because I try to remain professional.”
With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen.
It wasn’t any bigger than a AAA battery.
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What’s below my bed, joke.

Dorothy visited a shrink and told him, “Whenever I lie down on the bed, I get this mind-numbing fear that something is below the bed.”

The shrink said, “I have treated many phobias but this seems to be a unique case.

But do not worry, I will help you get rid of it.”

Dorothy said, “Thank you. How many sessions will it take?”

The shrink replied, Probably 20 to 25.
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lawyer’s bill.

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
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Viagra gives a lift.

A man passed out on the beach in Naples, Florida, for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.

He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
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Hi beautiful

A lawyer was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
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Bloody phone.

Arriving home, a husband was met by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, “The Chemist. He insulted me this morning on the phone.
I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

The husband drove down to confront the Chemist to demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the Chemist said “Now, just a minute
mate, hear my side of it.
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Doctors check up.

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is.

All his professionalism goes right out the window…

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

“Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?

“Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off.
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You are driving me crazy

A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!”

One day Hameed’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing.

The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!

The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform…… Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful……
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Baby names

Bubba’s sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma.

After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, ‘ Ma’am, you had twins – a boy and a girl.

The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.’

The woman thinks to herself, ‘Oh, no! Not Bubba; he’s an idiot!’
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doctors office

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window…

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

“Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?

“Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.
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Golf accident

Two guys out on the golf green when suddenly one man gets hit by a golf ball ,so he grabs his groin with both hands and rolls on the grass in agony.

A lady golfer saw what had happened and rushes over to the man who was moaning and groaning in agony the woman says.
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group therapy session

A psychiatrist, named Dr. Don, was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said,
“You are obsessed with eating.
You’ve even named your daughter Candy.
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