Priest and the Dying Man

The priest was preparing a dying man for his voyage into the great beyond.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”
The dying man said nothing.
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A priest and a rabbi

A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.

After a while, the priest put down his book and opened a conversation by saying, “I know that in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork… but have you really never even tasted it?”

The rabbi closed his newspaper and responded, “I must tell you the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion.”
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FATHER: Joke.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, ‘I am a Father..’
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religious young woman

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.

Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’

The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’

The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.’
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The Priest’s rooster ( cock )

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
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A priest and a nun

A priest and a nun are on their way back from the cemetery when their car breaks down.

The garage doesn’t open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available.

The priest says: “Sister, I don’t think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room.

I’ll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed.”

“I think that would be fine,” agrees the nun.
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Two pedophiles

Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacey knickers on the ground.

The first one picks them up, smells them and goes, “Aahhh… A seven-year-old girl.”

The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and goes, “No, no … Definitely an eight-year-old girl!”

The two of them are them smelling them in turns and arguing.
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Mary flying from Dublin

Mary was flying from Dublin, Ireland, to Chicago; she had a problem with her luggage so she asked the Priest beside her, ‘Father, may I ask a favour?’

‘Of course child. What may I do for you?’

‘Well, I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother’s birthday.

It is unopened and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it because I cannot pay the 20% import duty.

Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?’

‘I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.’
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Two priests on a beach

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist” garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery.

Presently, a “drop dead gorgeous” blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn’t help but stare.

As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: “Good morning father, good morning father.” Nodding and addressing each of them individually.

They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?
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church confession

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, “Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me
to hide her from the enemy.

So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied, “That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that.”

“It’s worse than that, father. She started to repay me with sexual favors.”
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The joy of children, joke.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book,
and noticed he had his collar on backwards .

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards .
The man being a priest said, ” I am a Father . .”

The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”
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