Empty bowl

An English teacher told his students that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter “H” they should ignore the “H” as in hour, honour, and honest.

That day when leaving for class, he left a note for his assistant, “Please heat my rice for me.”
Continue reading

The Blackboard

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word “penis” in tiny small letters.

She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face.

Finding none, she quickly erased it and began her class.

The next day she went into the room and she saw, in larger letters, the word “penis” again on the black board.
Continue reading

Sam walks to school

Sam informed the mother that he took a bad mark in English.
What you have wrote?
Sam pulls out his notebook and begins to read:
One day I go to school and I see in front of me a piece of shit.
The shit is green, it must be Marco’s, he likes the vegetables a lot.
I continue my walk to school and after a while I see another shit.
Continue reading

Little Johnny joke: son-of-a-bitch

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework.
As his mother approached she heard him say:

“One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.”
“Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.”
“Three and three”

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.
Continue reading

Cherry Hill.

The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late.

Mr. Clark asked, “John, why are you late?”

He replied, “I was on Cherry Hill.” Then he sat down.

Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, “Why are you late?”

Nathan answered, “I was on top of Cherry Hill.”
Continue reading

2 cats, joke

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Continue reading

lesson on triangles, joke.

Mr. Rosenberg, a geometry teacher at Maimonides High School started a lesson on triangles by reading a theorem.

“If an angle is an exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior angles.”
Continue reading

Class discipline , joke.

Bernie, who was a school teacher by profession, injured his spine in an accident and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.

He wore a cotton shirt over it and it was not evident at all.

As the new term began, he was assigned to a senior class with the rowdiest students in school.
Continue reading

Set a good example, joke.

Rohan who was in high school asked his pretty history teacher, Sara, out on a date.

She agreed and they went to a nice restaurant.

Rohan offered her beer but Sara refused saying, “I am a teacher and I am expected to set a good example for my students.
What do I say to my students if they learn that I drink?”
Continue reading

Little Johnny goes to school.

Little Johnny’s teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for
To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.
Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, ‘E-G-G’. ‘Very good’, says the teacher.
Peter says he had toast ‘T-O-A-S-T’. ‘Excellent.’
Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.
‘I had bugger all’, he says, ‘B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L’.
The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.
Continue reading

Animal Pictures, joke

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game.
She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is.
No one raises his/her hand.
The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?”
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe.
“Very good Sally,” the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra.
None of the students holds up his/her hands.
“See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?”
Continue reading

My butt hurts

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school.

The kid replies, “I had sex with my teacher.”

She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.

When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done.

As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face.
Continue reading