Liverpool jokes


If you see a Scouser on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike.

What do you say to a Scouser with a job?
Big Mac please.

What’s long, scouse, and goes around corners?
The Dole queue.

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Liverpool bar joke.

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke – 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs.

He’s having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.

After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.

Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: “Do you want a blow job?” he whispers.

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A Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser, joke.

One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share.

The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.

They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he’d sleep in the barn.

The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.
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