A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time.
So he went to see his friend and asked him what to do about it.
His friend had a brilliant plan. He said: “Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home.
I will be up in the tree waiting for you.
If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not.
And I will give the right answer to you and her.”
I knocked at my date’s door today and her father answered.
He said, “My daughter tells me that you have a date with her.”
“That’s correct,” I said.
An angel visited a woman in a dream and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and sex if she wants to get into heaven
The woman said she would try her best.
A week later the angel again appeared in a dream and asked the woman how she was getting on.
Peter got a text from his girl ” I love Anal”
Then he found out she is dyslexic.
Mick comes home from work and says to his misses.
“Mary the blokes were watching a blue movie last night and they said the girls all moaned.”
Mary replied “Mick I didn’t know that, but I will moan the next time we are having sex.”
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says.
“Doc, I’m getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I’m a virgin & I’m not!
Is there anything you can do to help me?”
The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try.
On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh.
When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it’s your virginity snapping.”
The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby will fall for this.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day.
It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”