Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy.”
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.”
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Continue reading →
Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. Continue reading →
Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said” Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him “I’m parking my car in yours mom’s garage. Go back to bed.” Continue reading →
Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending.
“Mom, I think I’m going to throw up!”
She told him, “I want you to run outside as fast as you can.
Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes.
You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you.” Continue reading →
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework.
As his mother approached she heard him say:
“One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.”
“Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.”
“Three and three”
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. Continue reading →