Little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: “Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.”

Little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy.”

Little Johnny’s night sleep

On a long walk in the woods, Johnny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night.

He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door.

An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johnny a bed for the night on one condition:

the man’s teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way.

Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn’t respond to his caresses, she didn’t push him away either.

Little Johnny- the truth.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.”
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Perfect Penis: Little Johnny joke.

Little Johnny is playing in the woods with his little friend Jenny
when she turns to him and asks if he knows what a penis is.

Johnny, unable to answer tells her to wait while he runs home to
ask his dad. He bursts in through the front door to find his dad
laying on the sofa watching TV.

“Dad! dad, do you know what a penis is dad, do you ?” Johnny demands of
his father.

Little Johnny joke

Johnny was at school and the teacher said, “Someone use fascinate in a sentence.”

Sally answered, “The zoo was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence.”

Maria suggested, “I was fascinated at the zoo.”

Once again the teacher said, “No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence.”

Little Johnny joke

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, “Why are you home so early?”

He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.”

Little Johnny joke : Worms

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

Little Johnny joke: The watch

Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it.

“I waited until I heard the bedsprings squeaking in my folk’s bedroom and then I ran in.

My father gave me a watch to get rid of me.”, replied the little friend.

I need a man

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.

Perfect Penis -Little Johnny

Little Johnny is playing in the woods with his little friend Jenny
when she turns to him and asks if he knows what a penis is.

Johnny, unable to answer tells her to wait while he runs home to
ask his dad. He bursts in through the front door to find his dad
laying on the sofa watching TV.

“Dad! dad, do you what a penis is dad, do you ?” Johnny demands of
his father.

Little Johnny Parks His Car

Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said” Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him “I’m parking my car in yours mom’s garage. Go back to bed.”

Little Johnny in school photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

Sweet tooth Johnny

One fine afternoon a gentleman was walking down the street; and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local candy shop.

As he approached, he realized it was his neighbour’s kid – Little Johnny.

The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice:

Little Johnny was in church

Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending.
“Mom, I think I’m going to throw up!”
She told him, “I want you to run outside as fast as you can.
Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes.
You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you.”

Little Johnny joke: son-of-a-bitch

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework.
As his mother approached she heard him say:

“One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two.”
“Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four.”
“Three and three”

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

Dinner time for little Johnny.

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what “shit” meant.

Thinking fast she replied “food on the table”.

Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does “son of a bitch” mean.

Again, thinking fast again she says “It’s a priest”.

Little Johnny joke

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it.

A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.”

The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.'”

Grannies beaver

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.

He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.

He looks at her crotch and says, “ What’s that?”

She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.”